The Life of a Superstar
by Ryn Hallard
Summary: Behind the scenes, Toshiro Hitsugaya lives a life of glamour and fame as a superstar after he shot to fame in the show 'Bleach'. Idolised and sought after endlessly, is his life truly his at all or is he simply a puppet in a sinister game? [AU] [One-Shot]


CAUTION: Don't read this if you are a Hinamori or Ikkaku fan!

A/N: I usually don't write anything mainstream but this is an exception. It's a Christmas gift to a close friend (Reina Ariadne CHECK OUT HER PROFILE FOR AWESOME SHOUNEN FICS) and she LOVES Toshiro Hitsugaya and hates Momo Hinamori, so there. Enjoy and review please! (Yes yes I know it's super late for a Christmas gift but hey, at least I gave her a hardcopy of it!)

Disclaimer: Don't want to own HAHA!

The Life of a Superstar

"Cut! Thanks for the hard work everyone!"

The studio was filled with soft chatter, actors and actresses leaving the set to rest on their respective seats that littered the room, their assistants replenishing them with bottled water and a towel to wipe their sweat with.

Toshiro Hitsugaya slumped into his seat exhausted. All the scenes filmed today all focused mainly on him and that was tiring already. The overpowering hormones from the starving fangirls in distant corner did not help. His assistant hurried over with an energy drink and a sandwich but was boob smashed into the nearby wall. With Toshiro's guard down, the assailant approached the unsuspecting actor.

"Toshiro-chaaaaaaaaan! I missed you so much!" A sultry voice screamed into Toshiro's ears and he was promptly boob smashed too.

Rangiku Matsumoto is a fellow actress who is Toshiro's vice-captain on set. Behind the scenes however, she is one of the biggest shotacon out there, her lust for little boys a match for her bust size. And she is proud of it.

"Matsumoto?! Get the hell out of my face! It's only been ten seconds since we took a break!" Toshiro barely managed to say, as the pair of boobs suffocated him. It was uncertain what caused poor Toshiro's face to light up like a siren on a fire engine, the breasts soaked in Playboy perfume or the blood fountain squeeze of death. "Ikeda?! IKEDA?!"

"Mou, Rangiku-san! Stop stuffing your cow boobs into Shiro-chan's face!" Toshiro's supposed childhood friend, Momo Hinamori, pulled him into her protective embrace by stuffing his face into her chest instead. In the show, Hinamori is the childhood friend of Toshiro's but she is one of the biggest predators Toshiro had to stay ten feet away from. "Get the hell off me! Something feels pointy..."

"Mou, naughty Shiro-chan! How did you tell I wasn't wearing anything under the robes? This is why I love you, Shiro-chan!" Hinamori squealed in delight and lashed out at the actor's highly prized possession - his first _kiss_. A cold steak knife shielded his tender lips, just as Hinamori's monstrous ones almost swallowed them whole.

_Wait, it's a zanpakuto?!_

"Please stop bothering Hitsugaya-san. He is very tired right now and needs to rest." A gentle voice demanded.

He is probably safe now.

Towering over the two actresses is Toshiro's assistant whom he refers to as Ikeda. He is a scrawny man who speaks with a singsong and feminine voice which often led to him being mistaken for a gigolo. He becomes rather overprotective when the safety (AKA virginity) of Toshiro Hitsugaya is threatened, though he claimed (unconvincingly) that he had no interest in them himself. He was often referred to as 'Mrs Invisible'.

_Since when did he have his own... Oh wait. Isn't this... Zaraki's?_

"I saw what you did there, Hinamori! Unforgivable! Growl, Haineko!"

"Oh? I knew it would come to this day. Tobiume!"

The death match ensues.

"The thought of sharing Toshiro-chan! How can you suggest that? You bitch!" Matsumoto snarled as she swings her zanpakuto in several vicious cuts.

A raging Haineko-tornado almost killed Kubo Tite, who was letting loose on a sketchbook with sketches of "the hussy fit of the century", as he dubbed it, in a mad frenzy.

The fiery women battled on, leaving their guard open to the army of fans they warded off to this day with their presence. They consist of many different fan clubs all dedicated to the worship of the actor, many waving banners and flags, one with all its members in wedding dresses, another in BDSM attire. That club was split into two groups: the sadists, all cracking their barbed whips as they cackled at him and the masochists, in skimpy clothing and moaned in unison at him. One club even waved a rainbow flag with the big bold words 'TOSHIRO GAY PRIDE' painted across it. It was a horrible sight.

And of course, there was the shotacon association led by President Matsumoto, who is now crushing the windpipe of a half-dead Hinamori with her bloodied pink scarf, Hinamori slapping the cold concrete floor of the studio like a distressed luchador, her face in blotches of red and purple like a luchador's mask.

Toshiro was confident of controlling the fangirls. They were cuter than his co-actresses, at least. Most of them anyway.

"Toshiro-san, can I have an autograph?!"

"Ah, sure."

"Me too! On my shirt please!"

"Okay."

"Scold me please!"

"You're crazy."

Banshee-like squeals erupted from the fans.

"Sign here please!"

"Oka- Wait! Isn't this a marriage registration form?!"

It was an unwritten rule that no one is ever allowed to marry him.

The girl was led to the ladies' to be torn to pieces by the respective fan clubs and they were never seen again. Lucky for Toshiro, that meant that the crowd has dissipated and he can finally knock off.

"W-wait! Stop right there!"

_Now what?_ Toshiro grumbled and looked behind him with a pissed look, unwittingly invoking his irresistible charm and made him the focus of all attention, causing the studio to shroud in abyssal darkness and a single spotlight to focus onto him. A second spotlight beamed onto a spot a few feet away from Toshiro. It was Ikkaku Madarame, and he seemed flustered at the suddenness of the spotlight, his baldness dazzling like a crystal ball. His role in the show was of the second most powerful shinigami in the eleventh division with a hooligan's personality and his lust for battles is second only to his captain, Kenpachi Zaraki. The uncouth man dashed to him frantically, Toshiro puzzled with his out-of-character behaviour.

"Shiro- I mean, Hitsugaya… I've made extra candied beans by accident and it would be embarrassing to give them to by division so… ca-can you take these with you p-please? I-it's not like I made them just for you, you fu- midget!" The grown man blushed and fidgeted as he handed Toshiro a bag of candied beans, beautifully decorated in pink and ribbons and the like.

"Huh? Why did you-"

Ikkaku already disappeared out of the back door of the studio before Toshiro even finished. A shadow overcast Toshiro's face, an indescribable fear confusing his senses and made him break out in cold sweat. On the bright side (pun intended), the studio was illuminated once again.

_What the hell!?_

Ikkaku is quite a lovely Tsundere.

Just then, an unfamiliar elderly male in black appeared. He did not seem to belong in the show.

"May I know where Toshiro Hitsugaya is?" He announced, but it was uncalled for as he found his target immediately.

A new species of carnivore is about to make its appearance in Toshiro's encyclopedia.

"Ah there you are. My name is Bookman and I came to you with a letter."

Said letter was passed to Toshiro. The envelope was adorned with nothing but a heart-shaped sticker as a seal.

"Thank you, Bookman-san." Toshiro thanked out of politeness and stuffed the envelope in his pocket. He is fairly certain it was another love letter, but he decided to keep it. You don't usually receive love letters from a nearly bald panda; it is bound to be a little different from the usual letters, which he routinely chucks into the bin without reading.

Later that night, the actor has just walked out of his shower and has changed into a bathrobe. Sitting at his study desk, he fishes out the envelope he received from the mysterious man and took its contents out. It is a letter with a slightly sweet scent, written on a pink paper with cute little illustrations lining the sides. It wrote:

**Dear Hitsugaya-sama,**

**I am your biggest fan and a fellow actor.**

_A-Actor?!_

**I have watched all of your appearances on television and you have left me swooning for more. That led me to watch you in the studio and beyond. I really wish to meet you, but alas, I am too shy to do so. I'm afraid of losing my composure and boring you out… My heart beats for you, Hitsugaya-sama, and you are my oxygen. I live only for you.**

**Forever yours**

**P.S: I love the briefs you wore today, but I have noticed that they are a little tight. I suggest you switch to boxers soon as it promotes growth.**

Yes, that new species of carnivore is…

_A STALKER?!_

From that traumatic moment onwards, Toshiro has obtained the assistance of fellow actress Soi Fon, whose network of spies in the show really worked for her in real life to scan and remove all fans within a ten kilometer radius around Toshiro. Yes, it was pricey, but he was happy to pay for it. Anything to keep his fans out of his pants.

Unbeknownst to the Public Favourite number one, Soi Fon benefited from the engagement of her services both financially and... Fanatically.

Who said she was in love with Yoruichi? No way, not in real life. All her spies hid in the dark corners, spying on Toshiro in her stead, his photos taken and plastered to every available surface in the living spaces of the ultra fangirl and some sold off for exorbitant prices on EBay or to the black market.

Yes, Soi Fon is the 'pants(u) stalker' and her sinister plan worked. For her personal desires, financial power and control over the army of fans which once terrorized the superstar, turning them into her personal army.

Toshiro Hitsugaya doesn't know a thing, but that's probably better for his sanity.

2nd disclaimer: Momo Hinamori was not killed in the writing of this fanfic.


End file.
